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Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy

"Helping You, Help Yourself"

The Power of Truth & Honesty

The Power of Truth & Honesty by Christine Spence-Williams

{4:06 minutes to read} Have you ever felt alone? Not because there is no one around, but rather because you feel no one knows the real you.

Why is that? Because you’re not being honest with yourself and others. You’re not being truthful with those around you about what you feel, what you think, what you want or need. But, you are not alone!

Many people feel that they are surrounded by other people but not connected. There is fear and anxiety about how other people will react to your honesty and truth. That is because, chances are, you have told someone the truth at one point in your life, only to have them get angry, be disappointed, and then leave you. The fear of going through that again makes you stay quiet….to yourself…not sharing…not truly being connected to others. Since anxiety is about the fear of the unknown, knowing more about something and understanding tends to diminish the fear. Let’s take a closer look at truth and honesty.

By now I’m sure you have experienced how many people, when you tell them the truth, do not react the way you want them to. The best thing to do is not expect a certain reaction, but that is easier said than done, I know. But I am asking you to look at things differently, to realize that an expectation of another is a setup for failure for both you and the recipient of your honesty. The only expectation you can have is of yourself, because you are the only one that you can control.

When revealed, truth can play tricks with the mind of the person on the receiving end. Their reaction to your honesty may be to challenge your thoughts or feelings, telling you that you’re crazy, stupid or weird for thinking or feeling the way you do. That type of reaction comes because honesty has a way of making a person look at themselves, at what they have said or done to others and feel overwhelmed. Truth may mean not being perfect, and who wants to see imperfection in themselves?

Telling the truth is most successful if it is to free yourself. Being honest allows you to stop hiding who you are and what you want, what you need out of life or what you need from another so you can truly live. Honesty helps you connect. It helps you make decisions about who to include or not include in your life. Being honest is more for you to better understand yourself.

So the next time you are afraid to be honest with someone else, remember:

  • You will not necessarily get the reaction you want because you are not in control of others’ thoughts and feelings;
  • It will help you to be free and connected to those around you;
  • If others choose to leave you after truth is revealed, it was only a matter of time before they would have left anyway.

Life is short, and no one knows how much time we have left. Don’t you think it would be better to spend that time being honest and surrounded by those who truly know you, accept you, and want to be around you?

Wishing you well…until my next blog.

Dr. Christine Spence, PsyD
CBT Psychological Associates
2171 Jericho Turnpike, Suite 345
Commack, NY. 11725
(631) 486-5140
Office@cbta-ny.com

2017-07-21T13:52:49+00:00 By |0 Comments

About the Author:

Dr. Christine Spence, PsyD
CBT Psychological Associates
2171 Jericho Turnpike, Suite 345
Commack, NY. 11725
(631) 486-5140
Office@cbta-ny.com

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